


little faith follow me

by ilfirin_estel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Casual Ableism, Fallen!Castiel, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post Swan Song, Sam is in Hell, brief alcohol abuse, there's fluff here i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilfirin_estel/pseuds/ilfirin_estel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean always functions better when he has a project in front of him. Usually this means a hunt. This time, though? It’s a list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	little faith follow me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ozmissage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozmissage/gifts).



> This was written for the prompt _AU s5. Cas never regains his powers, Dean still loses Sam. Still, they have no choice but to rebuild._ for [](http://dc-summerlovin.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://dc-summerlovin.livejournal.com/)**dc_summerlovin**.

God intervenes in the aftermath of the failed Apocalypse in only three ways. He heals Dean Winchester of his injuries. He brings Bobby Singer back to life. And He also resurrects Castiel.

He does this all without showing or announcing Himself. As soon as these tasks are completed, He fucks off once again.

He leaves His creations to themselves to pick up the rest of the pieces.

As far as Dean’s concerned? This makes God even more of a grade-A asshole than He already was. But it’s not like there’s much point in screaming at the sky about it.

“I’m human,” Cas tells Dean as they drive away from Stull Cemetery, following Bobby’s taillights back to Sioux Falls. The admission is quiet, but Dean can hear grief in it—and maybe a bit of shame. “I can’t save your brothers. I’m sorry.”

Dean can’t say anything—can’t talk at all, hasn’t been able to say a damn word since he watched Sam fall down that hole in the earth. He doesn’t even know what he’d say if he could force anything out.

So he just drives. He listens to the purring of the Impala as the miles stretch out behind them. His knuckles flash white as he grips the steering wheel. He feels Castiel’s eyes on him for a long moment, but Cas doesn’t break the silence.

Sam’s absence is a physical thing. A missing limb. Dean wouldn’t say he knows a lot, but he knows this is a wound that’s never going to heal.

-

Dean spends an unknown amount of time drunk out of his goddamn mind. He tries to quarantine himself for the bender, but Cas refuses to leave him alone. Keeps saying that he’s not going to allow Dean to choke on his own vomit.

_Sam wouldn’t want this,_ Castiel doesn’t say, but Dean hears the words all the same in every touch, every glance. Thing is, humanity made Cas handsy. He’s always touching Dean, hand to shoulder, hand to back, hand to face. Hands hovering like displaced birds.

It’s not as irritating as Dean would’ve imagined. He finds himself shrugging Cas off less and less as the days pass.

Besides, Cas is right—Sam wouldn’t want Dean to drink himself to death. Sam wanted Dean to go find Lisa Braeden and try out the apple pie life. Which was such a stupid idea. Dean is not inflicting himself on Lisa and her son. What the hell would he even do in that kind of a life? He’s had a shotgun in his hands since he was four years old. He doesn’t know any life other than hunting. He figures it’s much too late for him to back out now.

But Cas, on the other hand…

That’s the thought that snaps Dean out of the bender. Cas is human. And for all Castiel’s centuries of being a voyeur to humanity, Cas doesn’t know a whole lot about _being_ human.

Dean can definitely teach him some things about that.

-

Dean always functions better when he has a project in front of him. Usually this means a hunt. This time, though? It’s a list. He didn’t write it down, but he’s got it in his head and he’s been steadily crossing stuff off. Most of it’s pretty mundane, like get Cas everyday stuff like razors and deodorant and his own wardrobe. Teach Cas how to sew—which is useful for clothes _and_ wounds—and how to do laundry. How to cook. How to fend for himself and how to protect himself. Getting Cas an anti-possession tattoo was on the list too, but that got crossed off pretty early.

There’s another thing that doesn’t initially sound like it has much to do with Cas, but Dean buries himself in the task of fixing up a pretty decent Mustang when he’s got spare time.

See, this car? That’s for Cas too. Not that Dean’s actually said anything about it yet.

He doesn’t talk much still. He’s gotten better—he _does_ speak—but one word about Sam? All the words die, like someone cut a cable.

“Dean!” Cas calls out from across the junkyard. Gravel crunches beneath Cas’s feet as he approaches, a smile on his face. The former angel has a gun in one hand, which gives Dean an idea what the news is.

“You finally learn how to shoot straight?” Dean teases, lowering the hood and grabbing a rag to wipe his hands off. It turned out that headshot Castiel’d made that first time he’d used a gun had been beginner’s luck. The past couple of days had Cas furiously firing at empty cans of PBR.

“Yes, I think I’ve finally gotten the hang of it.” Cas looks so proud of himself, his blue eyes bright. Dean takes in the sight of him, how _human_ he looks in torn jeans and a t-shirt, his hair an unruly mess because he’s picked up the habit of running his fingers through it.

“We should celebrate,” Dean says, ruffling Castiel’s hair. Cas ducks and swats at Dean’s arm, but Dean can see the smile on the guy’s face stretching a little wider. Dean thinks it’s adorable. The thought doesn’t bother him as much as he might’ve expected. “C’mon, let’s take this Mustang out for a spin, huh?”

Surprise flashes across Castiel’s face. “I didn’t think you were done with it yet.”

“She’ll run just fine,” Dean replies. It’s the truth. He’s not done yet, but it’s just nitpicking and last minute tinkering at this point. “We’ll start teaching you to drive her soon.” Dean looks away, glances behind them at Bobby’s house, clears his throat. “She’s, uh, she’s yours, you know. So you won’t be stuck with me forever.”

Cas doesn’t say anything in response, just grasps Dean’s shoulder. It would be just a friendly touch, except he lets go, fingers trailing down Dean’s arm, brushing along the back of Dean’s hand. Dean gets the courage to meet his eyes, but can’t hold his gaze for long.

“Let’s go inside, Dean.” Castiel’s voice is earnest. Affectionate. “I think Bobby still has some pie in the fridge.”

Dean nods, valiantly ignoring the pounding of his heart. When he closes his eyes, he can almost see Sam grinning.

-

“You’re not that bad of a driver,” Dean says a month or so later as Cas pulls the Mustang into the grocery store parking lot.

“Thank you,” Cas says, unhooking his seatbelt and pulling a list out of his pocket. He squints at Bobby’s handwriting, tilting his head as if the angle’ll help him decode the chicken-scratch.

“You won’t need me much longer,” Dean says, the words falling out of his mouth without him consulting his brain. He’s been saying stupid stuff like this all the time lately. He knows why. It’s because he’s sure Cas is going to want to leave, see the world, figure himself out without Dean peering over his shoulder. Dean’s been steeling himself for the day Cas leaves because it’s coming.

Cas drops the grocery list with a sigh. He turns in his seat and takes Dean’s face between both of his hands. “You’re an idiot.”

Dean has no idea what to say, but that’s fine because Cas leans in and kisses him.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Cas says when he pulls back, calm and collected, like it’s a simple fact.

Dean feels like someone just hit him in the back of the head with a two-by-four. In a good way. He wants to yank Cas back in, wants to kiss him again, wants to do it properly this time, but Cas is already out the door.

Dean follows him, grinning. He’s just added a whole new section to his mental list.  



End file.
